Many years ago I read a book about a Christian man who was in prison, I assume for his faith but I don't remember, who led another prisoner to the Lord. After the other prisoner said the salvation prayer, he spent three days and nights pacing in his cell, crying out to God until he finally knew he was saved. If I'm remembering the story correctly, the author thought it was an evidence of the accumulated prayers of previous generations that in his lifetime this struggle was no longer necessary but that people were able to embrace their salvation after a simple prayer. I would like to propose that, while many do have a true conversion experience that is concluded with a simple prayer of repentance, many more are led to believe that they've had a true conversion experience when all they've done is acknowledged with their minds that God is God.

A true conversion experience is a change of heart and without a change of heart there is not true conversion. I have often said that I am glad when my nieces and nephews struggle with their salvation because I don't want them to just inherit it, I want them to own it. This is the same thing in my mind.

True conversion is life-changing. It isn't simply knowing that you're going to heaven. It must involve a radical shift in your thinking and a new understanding of how you are loved and how to love others. If our Christianity has never affected our lives in this way, then each of us individually needs to revisit our conversion.

Currently I'm living with and trying to help my 80-year-old mother. I gain many benefits by this arrangement as she is a sweet woman and loved by many. There's a lot to be said for the goodwill garnered by those around you.

On a recent Sunday, she was prayed for multiple times and I was grateful for the encouragement. One special prayer was that God would prepare a way for her to connect with a neighbor in trauma, and the answer to that prayer was most surprising. On Tuesday a police officer came to our door while I was at work. He informed mother that the license tabs on one of our cars had been expired since February and she had one week to rectify. While they were talking she asked whether or not the recent road closure meant that there would be road work done on our block.

Being a good daughter, especially when prompted by police officers , I immediately arranged for us to get the required license tabs, which we did that evening.

It was a good evening's work and we thought we were done. God had another idea which came to my mother the next morning. She realized she now had something to call our neighbor about, information that would be of benefit to her. Prayerfully she connected with this neighbor to share her information and it opened the door. Our neighbor was being visited by her sister and together they came over and took a tour of our backyard. We have a nice backyard and we're particularly proud of the funky and makeshift garden fencing with its crib headboard for a gate. The ladies enjoyed our swing and were so pleased with the garden, as the tomato plants reminded them of their own mother’s large garden from years past. As they took the tour something was mentioned about prayer and Mom seized the opportunity. Soon they were holding hands and praying together. What a blessing!

I am so grateful that God is in the business of answering prayers!

God is a huge concept, not to mention a huge God. Grappling with biblical contradictions like predestination and free will can tax a person's understanding. And, while I don't believe we have to understand everything, there is in the Bible, often we find comfort in things we can understand.

One of my first blogs was titled, 'Who's going to hell,' and the discussion that led to that blog helped me to realize that Jesus's death on the cross was God's only option for saving us. Before that discussion I felt like God was infinite and the possibilities were just as infinite; however, after that discussion I realized that the infinite possibilities were narrowed down by God's desire to design us to have free will. In the end, God's only option was to offer salvation through Christ's death and resurrection.

So, back to that free will and predestination concept. I have recently thought of this conundrum as similar to philosophy's theory of infinite realities, or maybe they call it quantum realities, where there is a reality for every conceivable possibility for how life can turn out.

When I described this to my sister, using the scene from Star Trek at the top of this post, she challenged me as to why God would then allow one person to live and another person not to, one person to get saved and another not to, as He chose this particular reality, and, for at least today, I think I have the answer. I believe it's the same answer as to why Christ had to die on the cross. I believe that when God looked at the infinite possibilities for how this world could go, the current line of history is the only line that allowed His message, His purposes and His deliverance to be fulfilled. It was the only one where we could have free will and still have God's message of love and God's plan of salvation made available to us.

How grateful I am that God chose this reality with this life for me.

Have you ever read or heard a Christian quote and thought 'something's a little off here?' This has been happening to me a lot lately. I'm actually rather glad to see it because it means that I'm growing in my understanding.

A while back my sister wrote a devotional she named, 'Gasping for Grace' and called it a devotional for discouraged dieters. While I need to diet, I tend to work at eating healthier as opposed to reducing my calories, yet I have found this devotional book to be life-changing. Her 31 daily devotions look at the huge concept of grace and break it down into bite-size pieces that come out like courses in a gourmet meal. The truth they provide has required several readings to sink in, but I can finally hear a new understanding of grace in my self-talk. How grace allows me to turn condemnation into a way to grow closer to God and to grow in maturity. How I can look at quotes like "Give it your best, then give it to God." and see why the Holy Spirit doesn't show up until the end of our ability to do things ourselves. I can read a prayer that's more like an apology and wonder 'where is the God-given power in that?' But especially when Satan comes to me with regret, I can take that memory to God and say, "God, I did that and I'm sorry. Thank you for forgiving me. Is there anything I need to do about that today." And during that process I know His presence and His blessing and at the end of the process, I show Him the gratitude of my heart. What a peace it brings! And, of course, the hope is that this personal understanding and application of grace will spread to the understanding and application of grace to others.

One of the first words our kids learn to say is ‘no.’ I use to think that it was because it was just two letters, that rolls easily off the tongue. It takes far less effort than saying ‘mommy’ or ‘daddy’ so why wouldn’t kids choose that word to learn first. But then, if the bible is correct, and a little child will lead…just maybe there is a vital lesson there for us adults.

It takes guts to say no, and kids have a lot of guts. They learn this word before they learn fear, and they use the word with the same confidence they have that if they jump off a ledge, you will catch them. I don’t even think they fully understand what it means. As you grow older, you learn that sometimes the most loving thing you can say to someone is "no." Consequences aren't always immediate, but they are inevitable.

I had a friend who thought it was neat that her 6 yr old could handle scary movies. I warned her against it, but didn't have anything other than 'that's what you're supposed to do' to back it up. She learned the hard way that the common wisdom was sound, when her daughter started having nightmares.

When Christians point at a particular activity and say that it needs to stop, it might seem like hate speech, but it really is grounded in sound moral principles that are meant to protect us from the consequences that will be borne out over time. I just wish I knew how to communicate that better.

**I would like to acknowledge the assistance of Cleveland McLeish, my editor, for his contributions to this post, as he masterfully rewrote it for me. If you would like to utilize his services, he's available on Fiverr as Cabcom or Cleveland O McLeish or Christian editor/ghostwriter. I highly recommend his services.

I am the keeper of the family history. For a period of time I researched the family tree and gathered stories. Unfortunately the apps where I put most of the stories were outdated and the text lost; however, I still have a sense of what I've learned and a record of family names.

Some of the things that I've learned include that our family has a long history of Christian faith. There are records of two major moves the first being from the part of Europe that is now Poland but at that time was considered Germany to little Russia. The family moved at a time when the faith was changing hands from Protestant to Catholic. Additionally I'm told that one of my great grandfathers was a traveling preacher establishing churches throughout the Midwest.

My father's parents were gone before I can remember; my mother's parents were an incredible example of God's love and a love for God.

My grandmother, who I take after, started witnessing at the age of 38. The versions that Mom and I remember differ however they both involve my grandmother feeling God tell her to go to a neighbors house, which she did, where she shared the salvation message and lead this woman to the Lord. Sometime within the next 24 hours she got the same prompting and lead the woman's husband to the Lord. Having once gotten a taste for witnessing, my grandmother never stopped. At some point in her mid to late 80s, she led four young people, who were around the age of 12, to the Lord. The first young man supposedly called a wrong number and she turn the conversation towards Christ. She never missed a trick and figured it wasn't much of a wrong number when the young man was able to call her back two different times and asked her to share with his friends what she had shared with him.

My grandfather was quieter but incredibly strong. He let grandma do her thing while he quietly ministered to people behind the scenes. At my grandfather's funeral a friend of the family, Duane Pedersen, shared the best salvation message that I have ever heard in that it perfectly represented the man we were honoring, as well as, the God he loved. Duane said that Eddie (my grandfather) would be very disappointed in him if he did not invite everyone at the funeral to come and visit Eddie in his new home. What a sweet and gentle invitation for a man who was so quiet and gracious. 

I remember my Mom and Dad as doers. They were always involved in church and they had a great heart for hospitality. We were always having people over, giving rides to various people who needed them and I think my folks, especially my mom, taught every Sunday school class and volunteered in my school all the way through elementary. I'm not quite certain how she did that since I have three sisters and I'm sure that she helped in their classes too but she managed. Dad has been gone for almost 10 years and Mom's activities are centered around the prayer support she offers so many. Her prayers are much coveted by everyone who receives them.

With this kind of heritage it's no wonder my sisters and I love the Lord so much.

My God, my God why have You forsaken me?* Isn't this the cry of every person in pain? When we're suffering, it’s so hard to believe that God is there, that God is loving us, that God is in control. Yet the only human alive who truly had the right to cry “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?” was Jesus because Jesus was the only human who God ever turned His back on.
 
I've had many low points in my life, as I'm sure you have as well, but what truly brought this thought in mind was a talk I recently attended, where the speaker recalled the loss of her husband. During this time of absolute desolation and a large degree of isolation (due to the fact she was in a foreign country) she cried out to God and said, ‘What I really need is a hug.’ which God provided. The way she told the story it felt like the hug was barely over when she sat down and said, ‘Lord, what I really need is a word from you.’ And isn't that the way it always is. We cry out to God saying this is what I need, and he provides, yet we’re not satisfied – because there is nothing that will satisfy. The truth is that there are times when we experience pain and there is nothing to do but to experience pain.
 
In my own life I have battled depression. There is a family history of depression and I recognize that I have a way of thinking that contributes to it, as well. What broke the hold of depression in my life was when medication helped me to come out of a particularly bad place. There was a confidence that I gained from the assurance that I didn't have to sink to the bottom, that there was help available when it got too bad.
 
Throughout the Bible God keeps telling us how He is our rock, He is our provision, He is our healer, He is our guarantee that we will never reach the bottom. If only I had grasped this truth before I went to drugs for help. If only we would grasp this truth for every pain and difficulty that comes into our lives, what amazing assurance we would have, what victory would be ours!
 
 
*Mark 15:34 NIV
And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).